Divorce affects children in more ways than we or our kids realize. Painful memories from the divorce of a child's parents can linger well into adulthood, often affecting his or her own relationships. But a father in Oklahoma says his inability to gain child custody has hurt his son both emotionally and physically.

The boy, who is 11 but is the size of a 7-year-old, may be suffering from "psychosocial dwarfism," according to court records. The condition results from emotional neglect and related factors. His 10-year-old sister has also alleged abuse while living with her mother. Although the Department of Human Services has ordered both children to be removed from her home, they continue to live there, much to their father's frustration. He's filed a motion for an emergency order to have them removed, but the case has hit multiple roadblocks.

First, the judge recused himself out of a possible conflict of interest. Then the children's legal guardian was removed by the new judge four days later. The delays aren't helping the boy's diagnosis, his father says. "He should be a normal growing boy," he said. "He only has a finite amount of time to grow. Every day is a day lost."

The 38-year-old father says he's been fighting for custody since his now-ex-wife filed for divorce in 2004. They shared custody until 2005, when he had to move across the state line for a new job. His ex-wife then gained primary custody, and the children lived with her new husband and his children.

It was in 2007 that the daughter reported she was being abused by someone in the home where she lived. That's when her father filed for custody modification. But because of the mother's friendships with the now-recused judge and the woman appointed to be the children's guardian, the children remain in her home. Meanwhile, their father has spent years and thousands of dollars trying to gain custody of the children.

Whether or not this family's custody situation is stunting the boy's growth, it's clear that putting children through the rigors of a bitter custody fight can be very harmful. If you and your ex are battling over who should have custody, you can minimize the negative effects by contacting an experienced family law attorney to help you find a solution that everyone -- you, your ex and your children -- can live with.

Source: TulsaWorld.com, "Dwarfism linked to neglect: Oklahoma child's health at the center of custody battle," Ziva Branstetter, Feb. 3, 2012